I shouldn’t tell myself not to be upset. I don’t need to tell myself to get over it. I have to allow myself to feel what I’m feeling first, then move on. Ride it out. Feel the pain just as I would feel joy. Understand that raw, embittered emotion so I can learn how to cope with it. Dulling it with food, alcohol, sleep, sex, or any other distraction often makes things worse. Accept the feeling, then allow it to subside naturally. That’s how you get tougher.